Browse Reflections
These writings are an evolving exploration of consciousness, relationships, ego, soul, meaning, and the experience of being human. Browse by topic, begin with the newest writing, return to the earliest, or search for whatever speaks to you. There is no required order—follow your curiosity.
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Foundational Well-Being – Part 1 – What Are We All Looking For?
Can well-being remain when life’s circumstances change? Drawing from personal experience and Rupert Spira’s teachings, I explore whether peace begins with recognizing the awareness beneath our thoughts, fears, and changing personal story. Resilience can develop without having to create the foundation itself.
Foundational Well-Being: Part 2 – The Many Ways We Seek Satisfaction
Pleasure, joy, passion, fulfillment, and euphoria offer different kinds of satisfaction. I explore how desire, relief, and a sense of safety shape our pursuits—and whether well-being must depend on continually obtaining the experiences we want.
Foundational Well-Being: Part 3 – The Mind We Inherit and Develop
Nature, nurture, and familiar stories shape what we believe we need before we can feel okay. I explore useful automatic processing, protective reactions, and the narrator—and ask whether our learned conditions are the only possible foundation for well-being.
Foundational Well-Being: Part 4 — What If the Foundation Is Already Here?
What if well-being is something we remember rather than earn? Through my personal metaphor of moving from 100 to 0 and back, I explore forgetting our wholeness—and rediscovering an underlying okayness while continuing to learn, love, and participate in life.
Foundational Well-Being – Part 5 — Something to Recognize or Create?
While listening to Rupert Spira, I experienced a remarkable moment of noticing consciousness itself—and an unexpected sense of peace. Was I recognizing well-being that had always been present, or had a new understanding changed my experience? I explore whether foundational well-being is something we discover, develop, or both.
God and Religion Are Not One Size Fits All
No single understanding of God fits every life. Drawing on my journey beyond Mormonism, I explore how we can examine our beliefs, live our values, and find meaning in an ongoing search.
Who I am vs. Who I Could Be
What if I could return to eighteen with everything I know at sixty-eight—or wake up tomorrow at eighty-eight? A thought experiment about time, choice, and the possibility that who we are isn't a finished identity, but an ongoing process of becoming.
Is Everyone a Little Fucked Up?
Is everybody a little fucked up, or is this simply what being human looks like? An afternoon with an old friend becomes an unexpected reflection on life's complications, shared vulnerabilities, and finding harmony in the midst of disharmony.
Taking a Moment to Notice
Sometimes, stepping back from life's complications reveals something remarkable. Like a mosaic, the individual pieces of our lives—struggles, relationships, uncertainty, and joy—form a larger picture. Perhaps I don't have to wait until everything falls into place to appreciate the beauty of the experience I'm already having.
Avatar Part 5: Does the Brain Create the Player?
If Scott is an avatar, why can changes to his physical brain alter memory, personality and consciousness? Exploring neuroscience, the mystery of subjective experience, and whether the brain creates the observer—or serves as an interface for something deeper.
Avatar Part 4: Who Is Playing Scott?
If Scott is the avatar, who is the player? Perhaps my soul isn’t something I possess, but something experiencing life through me. As I move from immersion toward greater awareness, I wonder whether the player has always been there—and I’m simply becoming better at listening.
Avatar Part 3: When the Avatar Feels the Weight of the Body
As my body ages, I’m becoming increasingly aware of its limitations—and occasionally wondering who, exactly, is noticing them. Is consciousness simply the activity of the body and brain, or could I be experiencing Scott much as a player experiences an avatar?
Avatar Part 2: The Player Behind the Player
What if the consciousness behind the avatar called Scott does more than observe his life—what if it loves him and has his back? An emotional moment of recognition and a mysterious 2019 hospital experience leave me wondering whether I once stood outside this game and chose to return.
Avatar Part 1: Before I Became Scott
What if this life is an experience I entered so completely that I forgot entering it? Perhaps Scott is an avatar equipped with an ego to survive and a quieter awareness to provide direction. I cannot know whether I am Scott imagining a player or a player experiencing Scott—but sometimes I sense I may be more than the character I am playing.
How Do I Know What Is True?
When I say “I know,” am I describing evidence or conviction? Reflecting on faith, logic, science, and personal experience, I explore how to judge what supports a belief—and remain willing to change my mind.
The Stories We Tell Ourselves
How many bad days begin as five bad minutes I keep carrying forward? By noticing the stories I attach to frustration, I can acknowledge what hurts, let the good moments count, and leave the next moment open. A bad moment belongs in the story; it does not have to become the title.
As Ye Believe (Part 1 of 3)
What we believe can shape what we notice, how we treat others, and the life we experience. A reflection on faith, perception, and staying open to evidence.
When Belief Meets Reality (Part 2 of 3)
Belief can help us act, heal our experience, and pursue possibilities. But what can it guarantee? A reflection on faith, evidence, chance, and the limits of control.
The Mustard Seed: Faith, Works, and the Wisdom to Let Go (Part 3 of 3)
Faith helps us begin, and works put belief into action. But when the result does not come, wisdom asks whether to persevere, change direction, or let go.
Beyond the Spotlight
Sometimes meaning arrives before I can put it into words. Beneath the narrow spotlight of conscious attention, memory, emotion, and pattern recognition are already at work. How can I listen to those impressions without mistaking certainty for truth—and turn what emerges into wiser choices?
Thinking Beyond Binary
The mind likes simple choices: right or wrong, good or bad, stay or leave. But wiser decisions often require us to see the spectrum, perspectives, relationships, and larger systems surrounding those choices. Thinking beyond binary can help us act with greater clarity, compassion, and discernment—without abandoning facts, boundaries, or accountability.
When Help Stops Helping
When does helping someone we love become enabling? A personal reflection on family responsibility, resentment, boundaries, and learning when love should help carry the burden—and when it should step back.
Does Peace Verify Truth?
Can a feeling of peace establish that a belief is true? Reflecting on my Mormon upbringing and research on belief, I explore what inner alignment can reveal—and why meaningful experiences still leave their explanations open to question.
If Scott Can Be Copied, Which One Is Me?
If technology could reproduce my memories, personality, voice, and relationships perfectly, would my present awareness continue inside the copy—or would a new consciousness awaken believing it was me?